He's Still Working On Me

I knew this school year the Lord was going to be teaching me a lesson about humility. I proclaimed this flippantly, and a little arrogantly in my obviously insightful understanding of my spiritual needs, to family and friends as I embarked on this journey (oh the irony of being ARROGANT about realizing God wanted to teach me a lesson in HUMILITY -- jeez!!!)  Obviously, I had no idea just how far He needed to take me. A few things occurred to me today on the drive home. Well, occurred is a rather benign word -- hit me like a ton of bricks is really more appropriate.

I have a need to be right and for others to know when I am right, especially if it means they are wrong. I also have a strong desire to offer defenses or justifications when I have been called out for mistakes. Even when I am able to admit I was wrong in doing something, if I feel it was justified or somehow not totally 

my fault, I really, really want the "authority" to know that.

Neither of these are Christ-like responses.  The Suffering Servant is what hit me today like a ton of bricks. After describing how Christ was to take on all of our yuckiness, Isaiah says 

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. Isaiah 53:7

Christ was blameless. Unlike me, He actually had a real defense - He had done NOTHING. Yet in humility He did not cry out. In humility, He left His rightful place in Heaven, and took on the clothing of man in order to save us. He did not have the need to prove His right-ness.

I now see, a little more clearly, what God is calling me to this year, and already what He is calling me walk in next year. Humility. Realizing He has placed me in my position for a purpose. That He has allowed the trials to come with a purpose. The purpose is to refine me and make me look more like His Son. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? My God loves me enough to drive me to my knees...to bring me to a place where I know there is literally NOTHING I can do to change the outcome of current circumstances and decisions other than to trust Him and walk in HUMILITY. 

Forgive the obscureness and intentionally unspecific nature of this, but some big decisions are to be made in the coming weeks. Whatever the outcome of these decisions I will have to walk in great humility either way. My prayer now is that the Lord, Who is my Sustainer, my Provider, and my Refuge will give me all that I need to do just that -- walk humbly before Him (Micah 6:8).

Food for thought:

Listen to "Edifying the Church" and "The Good News of Recession". 

 *The picture is a painting from http://www.sarahhauer.com/price_list.htm. I found it when searching images for Humility. I think it's pretty so I shared it :-)