Summer 2009

It's here! Well, in 3.5 days it will be, so here are some things I am looking forward to this summer.

1. Floating the Comal very, very soon.
   
   
2. I want to go to Sea World. For real.
   
   
3. Sitting out on the porch watching, watching the light fade, talking about anything and everything.
   
   
4. I am SO excited about the week in NYC, and getting to celebrate Ash & Dan's wedding with her family!
   
   
5. Seeing my cousins in Leakey while they are home on furlough from Taiwan.
   
   
6. Going to the Houston Museum of Natural Science.
   
   
7. Sitting by the pool, re-reading The Outlander Series (by Diana Gabaldon) in preparation for book 7.
   
   
8. Spending time delving into Dante's Divine Comedy.
   
   
9. Hanging out with some of my favorite kids in the world.

Conflicted so Confessing

Just how I feel right now. One minute I am completely trusting and believing and it is TRULY well with my soul; the POW! the next moment I am frantically trying to solve it all myself.  So I am going to combine a counseling technique (fake it 'til you make it) with an exercise another teacher introduced me to in chapel this week (confessing belief in scripture aloud -- or here written).  I say I am combining the methods because I realize that as I read these truths, I do believe them with my head, but I need to beseech the Author of my faith to increase my faith so that these truths resonate in my heart and that I am actually believing God,  not just believing IN Him. I think that's one of the greatest battles of Believers -- getting out of our heads and into the relationship with the Lord that leads us to trust.

* A couple of months ago one of my moms gave me this devotional...

as I read the preface a few nights ago Moore speaks to the sovereignty of God and how therefore she does not

 believe this book makes it into anyone's hand by accident, but by Divine intervention. I tend to agree.

I am going to act as though I believe Psalm 23:1-3

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for HIS names sake. (ESV)

I am going to act as though I believe Proverbs 3:5-6

If I will stop thinking I know what's best in my limited view of the eternal "big picture" and trust my God and Savior with every aspect of my life, He will guide me in every aspect of my life. (Mindy's Translation)

I am going to act as though I believe Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. (ESV)

I am going to act as though I believe Romans 8:28-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ our Savior. (ESV)

The Big Apple

FINALLY! We have committed to a date, booked the tickets, and are heading to NYC! I cannot believe I am actually getting to do some leisure travel this summer! Our friend, David, moved to New York last fall to attend Columbia University so we are going to visit him. I write "our" not "Clay's" friend because I like David (as I do most of Clay's friends!) and think I have known him (and the rest of them!) long enough to call him my friend, too. We will be staying with him and his roommates for nearly a week (I hope we do not wear out our welcome -- hopefully we will not be "home"much). 

He's Still Working On Me

I knew this school year the Lord was going to be teaching me a lesson about humility. I proclaimed this flippantly, and a little arrogantly in my obviously insightful understanding of my spiritual needs, to family and friends as I embarked on this journey (oh the irony of being ARROGANT about realizing God wanted to teach me a lesson in HUMILITY -- jeez!!!)  Obviously, I had no idea just how far He needed to take me. A few things occurred to me today on the drive home. Well, occurred is a rather benign word -- hit me like a ton of bricks is really more appropriate.

I have a need to be right and for others to know when I am right, especially if it means they are wrong. I also have a strong desire to offer defenses or justifications when I have been called out for mistakes. Even when I am able to admit I was wrong in doing something, if I feel it was justified or somehow not totally 

my fault, I really, really want the "authority" to know that.

Neither of these are Christ-like responses.  The Suffering Servant is what hit me today like a ton of bricks. After describing how Christ was to take on all of our yuckiness, Isaiah says 

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. Isaiah 53:7

Christ was blameless. Unlike me, He actually had a real defense - He had done NOTHING. Yet in humility He did not cry out. In humility, He left His rightful place in Heaven, and took on the clothing of man in order to save us. He did not have the need to prove His right-ness.

I now see, a little more clearly, what God is calling me to this year, and already what He is calling me walk in next year. Humility. Realizing He has placed me in my position for a purpose. That He has allowed the trials to come with a purpose. The purpose is to refine me and make me look more like His Son. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? My God loves me enough to drive me to my knees...to bring me to a place where I know there is literally NOTHING I can do to change the outcome of current circumstances and decisions other than to trust Him and walk in HUMILITY. 

Forgive the obscureness and intentionally unspecific nature of this, but some big decisions are to be made in the coming weeks. Whatever the outcome of these decisions I will have to walk in great humility either way. My prayer now is that the Lord, Who is my Sustainer, my Provider, and my Refuge will give me all that I need to do just that -- walk humbly before Him (Micah 6:8).

Food for thought:

Listen to "Edifying the Church" and "The Good News of Recession". 

 *The picture is a painting from http://www.sarahhauer.com/price_list.htm. I found it when searching images for Humility. I think it's pretty so I shared it :-)

Springtime Insanity!

My week at a glance:

Monday - Easter Holiday

Tuesday - math review, grammar review, literature review & reading

Wednesday - final math review, grammar quiz, literature quiz, more reading

Thursday - math TEST, t-chart, LOTS of reading, prepare for Grandparents Day

Friday - GRANDPARENTS day

T-minus 7 days until we leave for NASA! That only includes 4 teaching days...craziness!!!